My Week in Review

funny-dating-meme

I don’t have a silly, funny or irritating story to tell so instead I thought I would do a “Week in Review” and share two of the guys and the messages that I dealt with this week.

Example One: The Rant

Example Two: The Sex Talk

And obviously you do need some luck, guy, since you are on the same dating site that I am on.

On a positive note, I have a date on Tuesday night! Fingers crossed and I will keep everyone posted on the outcome.

Advertisements

Full Disclosure

I went on a very nice first date last weekend. We went out for tacos and drinks – he was speaking my language especially since he chose one of my favorite Mexican dive restaurants to meet at. Plus who doesn’t like a Sunday Funday?

Conversation was good, we learned a lot about each other, got some family talk out of the way and laughed quite a bit. Then he shared a bit of information that made me want to slam on the brakes…

married-but-separated

Yep, he is still married and just moved out in December. Now, as a divorced woman, I get that when a marriage is truly over, it is over. But I also understand the emotional roller coaster that is separation and divorce. I find it hard to believe that someone who was still cohabiting with his wife until December is emotionally ready to date. Now, I fully admit that I could be wrong.

But my bigger issue is that he did not disclose on his dating profile that he is separated or that he has been married not once, but twice. I am all for full disclosure on your dating profile otherwise it comes across as though you are trying to hide something. I really hope he isn’t hiding something – like he isn’t actually separated. He does say that he values honesty in all forms so I really hope he isn’t lying.

I have not decided if I am going to see him again. We have been communicating some this week and he did reference a “next time” – yet he hasn’t actually asked me out again. I still need to give this some thought – on one hand, I had a really nice time with him; on the other hand, he didn’t disclose what I think is some pretty crucial information.

I don’t think it’s wrong to say you are single if you are actually divorced because technically you are single. But I do have strong feelings that if you are still married or separated, you should disclose that. What do you think? Is it okay to not disclose your marital status on your dating profile? Or should you?

 

The Most Offensive Question

In dating, what do you think is the most offensive question you can ask someone? I bet you will never guess what it is…no, it doesn’t have to do with sex, drugs or politics.

It is…drumroll please…what do you like to do for fun or some variation of that. Seriously, I have had so many guys not respond to me after I ask that question. What? Do they have no fun in their lives at all?

But this guy’s reaction to that question takes the cake. I would love to show you our interaction, but I can’t. You will find out why momentarily. Our interaction went like this.

Me: So what do you like to do for fun?
(This was after a few introductory messages)
Him: Good Morning beautiful. Sorry I didn’t get back to you last, I worked 61 hours over the past week and still have a half day today. Here’s my number…call me or text me sometime soon. I live on…I think we live close to each other.
Me: I don’t give out my phone number that quickly (we had been messaging for one day).
Him: Ok
Me: Let me ask again, what do you like to do for fun? And what do you do for work that had you logging so many hours.

This was his response…

 

I would love to know why that question is so offensive! Usually when I ask it, it’s because the guy doesn’t have much, if any, on his profile to ask questions about.

Does anyone have any insight? Help me figure this out.

The Joke Heard ‘Round the World

So here I am again. Sorry that I have been MIA for a bit, but things had been pretty stale lately. Except for the influx of messages right around New Year’s Eve from guys only looking for a NYE booty call.

But back to the topic at hand, I had been talking to this guy for awhile and we were finally able to connect on January 17th after a failed attempt at a date on New Year’s Day.

Our first date was great, 3.5 hours, dinner and drinks and conversation, LOTS of it. And did I mention that he is bearded, tattooed AND pierced – the winning trifecta. Now only if his hair had been brunette. But I can’t get everything that I want. And he booked the second date at the end of the first date, not an exact date, but there was an ask and an understanding that a second date would occur.

308105

The next day, I was texting with Mr. Trifecta and realized that I had the following Sunday free. So we made plans for brunch. Another great date occurred; and I discovered a new amazing brunch place in Bay View.

We kept texting all week and set another date for February 13th – yes three weeks later, but with kids and work, it’s what worked for us. Seeing as how this would be the third date and he had been trying to text “fun” things to me (don’t worry, I put the kibosh on that right away!), I jokingly said “…well, I know what you want to do”. And then this happened…

Who freaks out about a joke about a chastity belt! Come on – relax a little bit. Especially with the things that he had said he wanted to tell me – like I said, I nipped THOSE conversations in the bud right away. I am not a prude, but I am not going to engage in that over text where screenshots can be taken and shared with the world. He even wanted to send me an unsolicited d*^k pic to show me his piercing. I passed on that as well.

You would think that he would be able to take a joke like that in stride, obviously not. And after that nothing…and I haven’t reached out as well mostly because I was usually (90% of the time) the person reaching out. It’s been a week – I guess this ship has sailed.

I guess this bearded, tattooed, pierced man just couldn’t handle me. And this was after I asked if he could be with someone as sarcastic and upfront as I can be. He assured me that he could and that he would probably even challenge me. Guess not!

Moving on to the next bearded and tattooed man…

 

 

Hello? Hello?

Why do guys think it is acceptable, attractive or whatever you want call it to message a woman repeatedly after they receive no response? This happens more often than you would think!

If I message a guy and don’t get a response, do I send another message? Absolutely not! I figure he wasn’t interested and move on. Sometimes it bums me out, but usually I shake it off and find another guy to pursue.

There are a lot of reasons why I may not reply right away. Maybe I am not sure if I am interested; maybe I can’t respond right that moment; maybe I need time to craft a great response.

desperate-seeker

This guy messaged me this morning at 5:50am with the oh so amazing message of “Hi”. He just messaged me again at 11:31am. Again, with the engaging message of “Hi”.

The same thing happened yesterday and today with another guy. This guy messaged me last night at 9:04pm and again this morning at 6:31am.

What does this say about these guys? Are they desperate, so incredibly interested and attracted to me that they just can’t let me go without a fight or are they so self-centered that they can’t understand why I wouldn’t be interested. Or maybe a bit of both?

Should I not be so irritated by this? Let’s be honest, I am irritated by most facets of online dating, but this might be close to the top of my list.

*Disclaimer: A lot of the time, I do respond to guys to say thank you, but I am not interested.*

Just Do Something!

tick-tock-tick-tock

So I have been talking to this guy, let’s call him Deli Guy, since…July? Maybe June. And we haven’t met yet. I will admit then when we first started talking, I was crazy busy with Irish Dance, vacations, etc so that was all me. And thenĀ “I’m Not Like Other Guys” guy happened…we all know how that turned out. So I told Deli Guy that it wouldn’t work out. Plus Deli Guy had pissed me off with his lack of follow through after we had set a date to meet {finally}.

But after things fizzled with “I’m Not Like Other Guys” guy, I reached back out to Deli Guy. I realized that I had jumped the gun and miscommunication happens with no ill intent. Ever since then, we have texted on and off, but nothing more. He has asked if I am available to talk on the phone, but both times, I was already busy.

I will admit I am completely losing interest in him. He has a job doesn’t make it easy to meet, but he also hasn’t thrown out any potential dates above and beyond what I have given him.

Here’s the thing…I am going through this with another guy in addition to Deli Guy. This guy, let’s call him J-Man. J-Man and I have been messaging on the dating app for a few weeks, possibly a bit over a month. I keep waiting for him to ask for my phone number and he hasn’t. Now, I haven’t offered it up to him either. I may see what happens if I do, but honestly, I am not all that interested. I may just let whatever this is with J-Man fizzle into the abyss of the worldwide interwebs.

What is it with some guys move at the speed of a snail crossing the street while other guys immediately ask for your phone number? Where is the middle ground?

On that note, I hope every one of you dear readers {if you celebrate} has a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving.

Impress Me!

I may have written about this before (this is what I get for not tagging all of my posts for easy searching), but it most likely bears repeating.

Listen carefully – first impressions do matter! They matter when you are applying for a job, they matter when you are going on an interview, they matter when you are messaging someone on a dating site, they matter when you are meeting someone for a first date.

13450296_1171756766188986_6928006557882498589_n-628x482

I am not telling anyone that you should dress like you are going to a black tie gala for a first date, but put some effort into your appearance. When I go on a first date, I always try and look my best – a nice outfit usually consisting of jeans and a sweater or a sundress in the summer. Relaxed, but put together.

I am so sick of guys showing up to first dates in jeans and a ratty t-shirt. Have you seen the Ultra Downy commercial? I haven’t ever had a guy show up looking that raggedy, but if you can’t put effort into your appearance on a first date, I shudder to think what date 5, 6 and 7 would bring. I would never say to not be yourself, but is throwing on a button down or polo too much to ask for? And maybe shoes that aren’t tennis shoes?

Am I overthinking this? Should it not matter what someone is wearing? I think it should – believe me, there are some dates that I would love to show up to in sweats and a t-shirt with a beanie thrown on my head. But I don’t, and I never would unless I were in an established relationship.

What do you think? Let me know your opinions!